Fuck you...and you and you.

Drunken quotes

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Funny/drunken quotes...

  •  i feel like there are little men inside my head, and their taking little hammers and just pounding away trying to say " you stupid whore, this is what you get for drinking so much" and i try to argue with them too sometimes, outloud, ill be like "well, i dont drink that much, compared to say...all of ireland.." and my mom gave me a funny look.


  • "This is one of those times when you don't want to be me... Not that I think there are times you people want to be me, but I'm just warning you, if you did have the urge, I strongly advise against."
    -Stallings, on being someone


  • Police officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
    Morgan: Reckless driving?
    Police officer: What were you doing?
    Morgan: Trying to read something.
    Police officer: What were you trying to read?
    Morgan: ...My shirt.
    Police officer: Go home.


  • David: Are you still drunk?
    John: No...
    John (5 min later): Dude, this trash can keeps staring at me...

and..there ya are